It’s time to bid farewell to one hell of a year! If you haven’t been living under a rock, you will agree with me that this year, we saw a host of well-loved stars pass away, we experienced multiple waves of political and social upheaval and oh well, we also struggled with our very own demons!
I hope 2017 is easy on each one of us. Now neither you nor I can control the external factors, but we sure can promise ourselves to make it a fulfilling year!
2016, you have taught me many a lesson!
This year was nothing short of an emotional roller-coaster ride for me. A year ago, I wouldn’t have imagined being alive and kickin’ because there was just too much pent-up inside of me and I had no idea about what I was doing or where I was going.
I was unhappy with my job. My relationships with friends and family were twisted. My finances were a mess. I felt caged in my own train of emotions. I didn’t want to live. I had lost all hope. Depression and anxiety took the better of me! But sooner than later I knew was I had to find a solution and make myself better.
So I decided to wake up every morning even when I felt like curling up into a ball because everything around me was irrelevant. I still worked my ass off even when anxiety made it difficult for me to breathe and make rational decisions. I still ate good food when my taste buds failed me and every bite I took tasted bland. I still got up on my feet because I knew I had to. I didn’t’ have a choice.
Slowly and steadily, I did come out the phase. Sometimes I feel I merely made peace with the fact that I am a little “loco” and people around me have to just accept that! I was completely broken despite having everything anyone could ask for! But I didn’t have the strength to appreciate any of that! I struggled and no matter how much everyone tried to help me, I was the only person who could save myself.
So I did. It took months of therapy and medication, but I did save myself! In the end, it was all about acceptance and I can proudly say I have finally accepted myself for who I am! I think I’ll always be self-centered and sometimes, I’ll try to please too much, I’ll always love a little harder, I’ll always be moody and I’ll always make mistakes — come on, I am human too!
But this time, I won’t allow my nature bother anyone. I won’t give in to somebody else’s whim and fancy. I won’t allow my heart to be played with. I won’t allow my moodiness hamper peace and order around me. And I certainly won’t allow any fucking one to point out of my mistakes! I am not blind — thank you very much!
I am still an angry person and I know there are far too many battles that I have to fight in the future but I know I have the strength to fire back, and because I love myself!
So promise me — no matter what happens, you just won’t give in and please for fuck’s sake, remove all toxic people around you. You don’t deserve that shit. Just be yourself — unabashedly, un-apologetically and fiercely because in the end, you are all you have got!
The Force is with you in 2017 — trust me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
With all my love. 🙂