Last week my ex-boyfriend, with whom I spent a little more than 4 years of my life (on an on-off basis, of course), got in touch with me — again. I wasn’t surprised. He has a habit of coming back every now and then to check how I am doing without him, etc.
It’s actually quite amusing, you know. Because he was never available when we were dating — like ‘literally’ never and when I found happiness elsewhere, he just wouldn’t have any of it. And this time when he told me he still loves me, I realized that it was all Karma — what goes around, inevitably comes around.
Now he messages me, calls me, pings me on Facebook and what not — I guess it must be exhausting for him to try to keep a tab on me on all channels. Last night over a dull phone call he confessed he was still dating this chick because of whom we broke up initially eons ago.
No, it didn’t and doesn’t affect me. In fact, I am happy and relieved he has found someone he couldn’t stop gushing about even back then. So good for him! What I don’t understand is why he is still after me and why he is still in love with me! Because I certainly don’t share the same feelings anymore.
I lead a simple life. I am home most of the time. I do my job. That’s it. My life currently is as sedentary as possible. It’s the fact that he is so selfish I have a problem with. He yearns for people when he wishes so. He talks to people at his convenience. He blames others for his own mistakes. I have never met anyone like him!
I can never waltz in somebody’s life just because I want to — I mean who does that? Can you? Lots of people can, I guess. People like him. I wish he reads this post and makes a note of two or three things:
“I have nothing to offer you anymore. I don’t have the time or energy to invest in your friendship or even in your existence. You may have meant the world to me a thousand years ago, but things have changed and how! I am not angry at you, nor would I go around holding grudges against you for the screw-up you were or still are — because those things don’t matter anymore — at least not to me!
But what I want you to understand is that you and I can never be friends. I can never share things with you with the same enthusiasm I once showed when we first met. I can’t hang out with you anymore. I can’t hug you or kiss you. I can’t act silly and laugh with you. I just cannot. But you are forcing me yet again to mold me, to make me fit in your life and I just can’t let that happen again.
I will be more than happy to see you succeed in life or see you finally settled with a beautiful wife and a bunch of kids — trust me. But don’t stoop so low that you have to threaten me to send your friend to my home to check up on me or have to keep calling me especially when you know I am busy. Please. Just stop. This is my last and final message to you and I sincerely hope you take it seriously. We don’t know what the future holds. So until then focus on giving yourself a peace of mind, if nothing else — and let me live in peace too — for the sake of old times.”